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Deuteronomy 21:13 - Captive's month of mourning.

Deuteronomy 21:13 - דברים 21:13

Hebrew Text

וְהֵסִירָה אֶת־שִׂמְלַת שִׁבְיָהּ מֵעָלֶיהָ וְיָשְׁבָה בְּבֵיתֶךָ וּבָכְתָה אֶת־אָבִיהָ וְאֶת־אִמָּהּ יֶרַח יָמִים וְאַחַר כֵּן תָּבוֹא אֵלֶיהָ וּבְעַלְתָּהּ וְהָיְתָה לְךָ לְאִשָּׁה׃

English Translation

and she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thy house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in to her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.

Transliteration

Ve'hesira et-simlat shivya me'aleha ve'yashva be'veitekha u'vakhta et-aviha ve'et-ima yerach yamim ve'achar ken tavo eleha u've'altah ve'hayta lekha le'isha.

Hebrew Leining Text

וְהֵסִ֩ירָה֩ אֶת־שִׂמְלַ֨ת שִׁבְיָ֜הּ מֵעָלֶ֗יהָ וְיָֽשְׁבָה֙ בְּבֵיתֶ֔ךָ וּבָ֥כְתָ֛ה אֶת־אָבִ֥יהָ וְאֶת־אִמָּ֖הּ יֶ֣רַח יָמִ֑ים וְאַ֨חַר כֵּ֜ן תָּב֤וֹא אֵלֶ֙יהָ֙ וּבְעַלְתָּ֔הּ וְהָיְתָ֥ה לְךָ֖ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃
וְהֵסִ֩ירָה֩ אֶת־שִׂמְלַ֨ת שִׁבְיָ֜הּ מֵעָלֶ֗יהָ וְיָֽשְׁבָה֙ בְּבֵיתֶ֔ךָ וּבָ֥כְתָ֛ה אֶת־אָבִ֥יהָ וְאֶת־אִמָּ֖הּ יֶ֣רַח יָמִ֑ים וְאַ֨חַר כֵּ֜ן תָּב֤וֹא אֵלֶ֙יהָ֙ וּבְעַלְתָּ֔הּ וְהָיְתָ֥ה לְךָ֖ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃

🎵 Listen to leining

Parasha Commentary

Context of the Verse

This verse (Devarim 21:13) is part of the Torah's laws regarding the treatment of a yefat to'ar (a beautiful woman captured during wartime). The Torah outlines a process to ensure her dignity and emotional well-being before she may enter into marriage with her captor. The verse emphasizes compassion and respect, even in difficult circumstances.

Removing the Garments of Captivity

Rashi explains that the phrase "וְהֵסִירָה אֶת־שִׂמְלַת שִׁבְיָהּ מֵעָלֶיהָ" ("she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her") refers to removing the clothing she wore during captivity, which may have been immodest or associated with idolatry (Rashi on Devarim 21:13). The Ramban adds that this act symbolizes her transition from a state of war and suffering to one of dignity and Jewish life.

Mourning for Her Parents

The verse requires her to mourn "אֶת־אָבִיהָ וְאֶת־אִמָּהּ" ("her father and her mother") for a full month (יֶרַח יָמִים). The Talmud (Yevamot 48a) discusses whether this mourning is literal or symbolic. Some opinions suggest that even if her parents are alive, she mourns the separation from her family and her former way of life. The month-long period allows her to process her emotions and make a deliberate choice about her future.

The Process of Marriage

The phrase "וְאַחַר כֵּן תָּבוֹא אֵלֶיהָ וּבְעַלְתָּהּ" ("after that thou shalt go in to her, and be her husband") indicates that the marriage cannot proceed until she has completed this period of adjustment. The Rambam (Hilchos Melachim 8:5) emphasizes that this law is designed to prevent impulsive or coercive relationships, ensuring that the woman's consent is meaningful.

Halachic and Ethical Considerations

  • The Sefer HaChinuch (Mitzvah 532) explains that this law teaches the importance of compassion and self-control, even in wartime.
  • The Kli Yakar notes that the Torah's insistence on waiting a full month reflects the natural human need for emotional healing before major life changes.
  • The Sforno adds that this process helps her transition from a pagan lifestyle to a Jewish one, ensuring her future commitment to Torah values.

📚 Talmud Citations

This verse is quoted in the Talmud.

📖 Kiddushin 21b
The verse is discussed in the context of the laws regarding a captive woman and the procedures one must follow before marrying her.
📖 Yevamot 48a
The verse is referenced in a discussion about the conversion process and the mourning period for a captive woman.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What does Deuteronomy 21:13 mean about the captive woman mourning her parents?
A: The verse teaches that if an Israelite soldier takes a captive woman in war, she must first remove her captive garments, live in his home, and mourn her parents for a full month (יֶרַח יָמִים). Rashi explains that this period allows her to transition from her former life and grieve properly, showing compassion and respect for her emotional state before any marriage takes place.
Q: Why does the Torah require the captive woman to remove her 'raiment of captivity'?
A: According to the Talmud (Kiddushin 21b), removing her captive garments symbolizes leaving her past behind and beginning a new life. The Rambam (Hilchos Melachim 8:5) adds that this act helps her detach from idolatrous influences, as her clothing may have been associated with non-Jewish practices. It’s a step toward embracing Jewish values.
Q: What is the significance of the one-month mourning period in Deuteronomy 21:13?
A: The month-long mourning (יֶרַח יָמִים) serves two purposes: 1) It honors the woman’s emotional needs by giving her time to grieve her parents (Rashi). 2) The Midrash (Sifrei Devarim 213) notes that this period also allows her to reflect on her new circumstances and voluntarily accept Judaism if she chooses to marry the Israelite. This avoids coercion.
Q: How does Deuteronomy 21:13 apply to Jewish values today?
A: While the specific wartime scenario is rare today, the verse teaches enduring principles: 1) Compassion for others’ emotional pain (even enemies). 2) Respect for human dignity during major life transitions. 3) The importance of proper timing in relationships—rushing into marriage without emotional readiness is discouraged (Sefer HaChinuch 532).
Q: Does Deuteronomy 21:13 permit forced marriage?
A: No. Traditional Jewish sources (Talmud Kiddushin 21b, Rambam Melachim 8:3-5) emphasize that the woman’s consent is required after the mourning period. If she refuses to convert or marry, she is freed. The Torah’s detailed process ensures she isn’t treated as property but as a person with agency, aligning with Judaism’s high ethical standards in interpersonal relationships.