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Exodus 20:12 - Respect parents, merit longevity.

Exodus 20:12 - שמות 20:12

Hebrew Text

כַּבֵּד אֶת־אָבִיךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּךָ לְמַעַן יַאֲרִכוּן יָמֶיךָ עַל הָאֲדָמָה אֲשֶׁר־יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ נֹתֵן לָךְ׃

English Translation

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God gives thee.

Transliteration

Kabeid et-avikha ve'et-imekha lema'an ya'arikhun yameikha al ha'adama asher-Adonai Elohekha noten lakh.

Hebrew Leining Text

כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃ <span class="mam-spi-samekh">{ס}</span>        
כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃ {ס}        

🎵 Listen to leining

Parasha Commentary

The Commandment to Honor Parents

The verse "כַּבֵּד אֶת־אָבִיךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּךָ" ("Honor thy father and thy mother") is the fifth of the Ten Commandments and represents a fundamental principle in Torah. According to Rashi (Shemos 20:12), honoring parents is equated with honoring Hashem, as parents partner with Him in bringing a child into the world. The Mechilta further explains that this mitzvah is placed on the first tablet alongside commandments between man and G-d, emphasizing its divine significance.

The Nature of Honor

The Rambam (Hilchos Mamrim 6:3) details practical ways to fulfill this mitzvah, including:

  • Providing parents with food, drink, and clothing
  • Assisting them in entering and exiting their home with respect
  • Standing in their presence as a sign of reverence

The Sefer HaChinuch (Mitzvah 33) adds that honoring parents cultivates gratitude, a foundational trait for serving Hashem.

The Promise of Long Life

The verse concludes with "לְמַעַן יַאֲרִכוּן יָמֶיךָ" ("that thy days may be long"). The Talmud (Kiddushin 39b) explains that this refers to both Olam HaZeh (this world) and Olam HaBa (the World to Come). Rashi notes that the longevity is specifically tied to dwelling in Eretz Yisrael ("עַל הָאֲדָמָה"), teaching that honoring parents maintains the Jewish people's merit to dwell in the Land.

Parental Honor and National Stability

The Midrash Tanchuma (Eikev 2) connects this mitzvah to the endurance of society, stating that when children honor parents, families remain strong, ensuring the stability of the nation in its land. The Sforno emphasizes that honoring parents preserves the transmission of Torah values across generations, which is essential for maintaining our bond with Eretz Yisrael.

Limitations of the Mitzvah

The Gemara (Yevamos 6a) clarifies that honoring parents does not override Torah law. If a parent commands a child to transgress a mitzvah, the child must disregard the request, as "אֵין כְּבוֹדוֹ אֶלָּא כְּבוֹד הַמָּקוֹם" ("the honor due to parents is secondary to the honor due to Hashem"). This principle is codified by the Rambam (Hilchos Mamrim 6:12).

📚 Talmud Citations

This verse is quoted in the Talmud.

📖 Kiddushin 30b
The verse is discussed in the context of the importance of honoring one's parents, with the sages exploring the extent and nature of this commandment.
📖 Yevamot 6a
The verse is referenced in a discussion about the rewards for fulfilling commandments, particularly the promise of long life for honoring parents.
📖 Peah 1:1
The verse is mentioned in the Mishnah as one of the commandments for which no specific measure is prescribed, indicating its importance.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What does 'Honor thy father and thy mother' mean in Jewish tradition?
A: In Jewish tradition, honoring one's parents (כיבוד אב ואם) means showing them respect through actions and words. This includes providing for their needs if necessary, speaking to them kindly, and not contradicting them harshly (Kiddushin 31b). Rashi explains that honoring goes beyond fear; it involves actively caring for them.
Q: Why is honoring parents connected to long life in the verse?
A: The Torah promises long life as a reward for honoring parents because it recognizes the foundational role parents play in transmitting tradition and values. The Talmud (Kiddushin 30b) teaches that honoring parents helps sustain society, as it fosters gratitude and continuity between generations.
Q: How can I honor my parents according to Jewish law?
A: Jewish law (Halacha) teaches several ways to honor parents: providing them with food, clothing, and assistance if needed; standing in their presence; speaking respectfully; and ensuring their comfort (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 240). Rambam (Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Mamrim 6:3) adds that even after their passing, one can honor parents by living righteously.
Q: Does honoring parents apply if they are not religious?
A: Yes, the mitzvah of honoring parents applies regardless of their level of observance. The Talmud (Kiddushin 31a) relates how even non-Jewish parents must be honored, as the commandment is universal. However, if a parent asks a child to violate Torah law, the child must respectfully decline while still showing basic respect (Rambam, Hilchot Mamrim 6:11).
Q: Why is this commandment on the first tablet of the Ten Commandments?
A: The first tablet contains commandments between man and G-d, while the second focuses on interpersonal laws. Honoring parents is placed on the first tablet (Exodus 20:12) because parents are partners with G-d in creating life (Kiddushin 30b). By honoring them, we acknowledge G-d's role in our existence and the transmission of His Torah.