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Genesis 13:8 - Peace before prosperity, brothers unite?

Genesis 13:8 - בראשית 13:8

Hebrew Text

וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְרָם אֶל־לוֹט אַל־נָא תְהִי מְרִיבָה בֵּינִי וּבֵינֶיךָ וּבֵין רֹעַי וּבֵין רֹעֶיךָ כִּי־אֲנָשִׁים אַחִים אֲנָחְנוּ׃

English Translation

And Avram said to Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen, for we are brethren.

Transliteration

Va'yomer Avram el Lot al na tehi meriva beini u'veinecha u'vein ro'ai u'vein ro'echa ki anashim achim anachnu.

Hebrew Leining Text

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר אַבְרָ֜ם אֶל־ל֗וֹט אַל־נָ֨א תְהִ֤י מְרִיבָה֙ בֵּינִ֣י וּבֵינֶ֔ךָ וּבֵ֥ין רֹעַ֖י וּבֵ֣ין רֹעֶ֑יךָ כִּֽי־אֲנָשִׁ֥ים אַחִ֖ים אֲנָֽחְנוּ׃
וַיֹּ֨אמֶר אַבְרָ֜ם אֶל־ל֗וֹט אַל־נָ֨א תְהִ֤י מְרִיבָה֙ בֵּינִ֣י וּבֵינֶ֔ךָ וּבֵ֥ין רֹעַ֖י וּבֵ֣ין רֹעֶ֑יךָ כִּֽי־אֲנָשִׁ֥ים אַחִ֖ים אֲנָֽחְנוּ׃

🎵 Listen to leining

Parasha Commentary

Avraham's Pursuit of Peace

The verse (Bereishit 13:8) demonstrates Avraham Avinu's exceptional character in seeking to avoid conflict with his nephew Lot. Rashi explains that Avraham initiated this peaceful resolution despite being the elder and more righteous party, showing his humility and commitment to shalom bayit (domestic peace). The Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 41:5) emphasizes that Avraham valued peace over material possessions, willingly offering Lot first choice of land to prevent strife.

The Phrase "Anashim Achim Anachnu"

Avraham's declaration "for we are brethren" carries deep significance. Ramban notes that this refers not merely to their biological relationship, but to their shared spiritual legacy as descendants of Terach who had rejected idolatry. The Kli Yakar adds that Avraham sought to remind Lot of their familial bond and shared values to prevent the dispute from escalating.

Halachic Principles of Conflict Resolution

This incident establishes important halachic principles regarding dispute resolution:

  • The Mishnah (Avot 5:10) cites Avraham as the paradigm of those who "love peace and pursue peace"
  • Rambam (Hilchot De'ot 6:7) derives from this episode that it is preferable to suffer financial loss rather than engage in conflict
  • The Chofetz Chaim emphasizes that Avraham's approach teaches us to proactively prevent disputes before they escalate

Contrast Between Avraham and Lot

The Malbim highlights the contrast between Avraham's conciliatory language ("I pray thee") and Lot's subsequent choice to dwell near Sodom, demonstrating how Avraham's righteousness was not inherited by his nephew. The Ohr HaChaim notes that Avraham's peaceful overture came after their possessions became too numerous to dwell together (13:6), showing his patience in waiting until absolutely necessary to address the issue.

Practical Lessons for Interpersonal Relationships

From this verse we learn:

  • The importance of initiating reconciliation even when one is in the right
  • The value of using soft language ("I pray thee") when addressing potential conflicts
  • The need to emphasize common bonds ("we are brethren") during disputes
  • The priority of maintaining peaceful relationships over material gain

📚 Talmud Citations

This verse is quoted in the Talmud.

📖 Sanhedrin 109b
The verse is referenced in the context of discussing the dispute between Avram and Lot, illustrating the importance of peace and avoiding strife even among relatives.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What does Genesis 13:8 teach us about conflict resolution?
A: Genesis 13:8 teaches the importance of avoiding strife and pursuing peace. Avraham (Avram) proactively addresses the potential conflict with his nephew Lot by emphasizing their familial bond ('for we are brethren'). Rashi explains that Avraham prioritized peace over his own rights, setting an example for resolving disputes with humility and kindness.
Q: Why did Avraham say 'we are brethren' to Lot?
A: Avraham reminded Lot that they were family ('we are brethren') to prevent their shepherds' dispute from escalating. The Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 41:6) highlights that Avraham valued their relationship more than material possessions. This teaches that family unity should take precedence over arguments about wealth or property.
Q: How does Genesis 13:8 apply to relationships today?
A: Genesis 13:8 teaches that maintaining peaceful relationships is more important than winning an argument. The Rambam (Hilchot De'ot 6:3) writes that pursuing peace is a fundamental Jewish value. Like Avraham, we should strive to resolve conflicts with humility, especially with family or close friends.
Q: What can we learn from Avraham's approach to avoiding strife?
A: Avraham's approach teaches us to address conflicts early before they grow. As the Talmud (Sanhedrin 6b) states, 'The first to initiate peace is praiseworthy.' Avraham didn't wait for the dispute to worsen—he immediately sought reconciliation, showing leadership and wisdom in preserving harmony.