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Genesis 16:5 - Who bears the blame?

Genesis 16:5 - בראשית 16:5

Hebrew Text

וַתֹּאמֶר שָׂרַי אֶל־אַבְרָם חֲמָסִי עָלֶיךָ אָנֹכִי נָתַתִּי שִׁפְחָתִי בְּחֵיקֶךָ וַתֵּרֶא כִּי הָרָתָה וָאֵקַל בְּעֵינֶיהָ יִשְׁפֹּט יְהוָה בֵּינִי וּבֵינֶיךָ׃

English Translation

And Saray said to Avram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the Lord judge between me and thee.

Transliteration

Vatomer Saray el-Avram khamasi alekha anokhi natati shifkhati bekheikha vatere ki harata va'ekal be'eneha yishpot Adonai beini uveinekha.

Hebrew Leining Text

וַתֹּ֨אמֶר שָׂרַ֣י אֶל־אַבְרָם֮ חֲמָסִ֣י עָלֶ֒יךָ֒ אָנֹכִ֗י נָתַ֤תִּי שִׁפְחָתִי֙ בְּחֵיקֶ֔ךָ וַתֵּ֙רֶא֙ כִּ֣י הָרָ֔תָה וָאֵקַ֖ל בְּעֵינֶ֑יהָ יִשְׁפֹּ֥ט יְהֹוָ֖ה בֵּינִ֥י וּבֵינֶֽיׄךָ׃
וַתֹּ֨אמֶר שָׂרַ֣י אֶל־אַבְרָם֮ חֲמָסִ֣י עָלֶ֒יךָ֒ אָנֹכִ֗י נָתַ֤תִּי שִׁפְחָתִי֙ בְּחֵיקֶ֔ךָ וַתֵּ֙רֶא֙ כִּ֣י הָרָ֔תָה וָאֵקַ֖ל בְּעֵינֶ֑יהָ יִשְׁפֹּ֥ט יְהֹוָ֖ה בֵּינִ֥י וּבֵינֶֽיׄךָ׃

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Parasha Commentary

Sarai's Complaint to Avram

The verse (Bereishit 16:5) describes Sarai's distress after Hagar, her maidservant, becomes pregnant by Avram and subsequently treats her with disrespect. Sarai's words, "חֲמָסִי עָלֶיךָ" ("My wrong be upon thee"), express her anguish and place responsibility on Avram for the situation. Rashi explains that Sarai is saying, "The injustice done to me is your fault," because Avram did not protest Hagar's behavior. The Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 45:5) elaborates that Sarai felt betrayed, as she had expected Hagar to remain submissive even after conception.

The Nature of the Conflict

Sarai emphasizes that she had willingly given Hagar to Avram ("אָנֹכִי נָתַתִּי שִׁפְחָתִי בְּחֵיקֶךָ"), yet Hagar's pregnancy led to her being belittled ("וָאֵקַל בְּעֵינֶיהָ"). Ramban notes that Hagar, as an Egyptian princess (as per some Midrashic interpretations), may have felt superior once she conceived, leading to arrogance. The Talmud (Berachot 13a) teaches that humility is essential in relationships, and Hagar's behavior violated this principle.

Divine Judgment Invoked

Sarai concludes by calling upon Hashem to judge between her and Avram ("יִשְׁפֹּט יְהוָה בֵּינִי וּבֵינֶיךָ"). The Ohr HaChaim explains that Sarai was not doubting Avram's righteousness but sought divine intervention to rectify the imbalance in their household. The Sforno adds that Sarai trusted in Hashem's justice to resolve the tension fairly.

Key Lessons

  • Responsibility in Relationships: Avram's passive response to Hagar's disrespect made Sarai feel wronged, highlighting the importance of addressing conflicts within a marriage (Rashi).
  • Humility vs. Arrogance: Hagar's behavior serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of pride, especially when one's status changes (Ramban).
  • Trust in Divine Justice: Sarai's appeal to Hashem demonstrates that when human efforts fail, turning to divine judgment is a righteous course (Sforno).

📚 Talmud Citations

This verse is quoted in the Talmud.

📖 Sanhedrin 99b
The verse is referenced in a discussion about the righteousness of Sarah and the judgment of God.
📖 Bava Metzia 87a
The verse is cited in a discussion about the relationship between Sarah and Hagar, illustrating the tension and divine judgment.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What does Genesis 16:5 mean?
A: In Genesis 16:5, Sarai (later called Sarah) expresses her distress to Avram (Abraham) after giving her maidservant Hagar to him to bear a child. When Hagar becomes pregnant, she begins to disrespect Sarai. Sarai feels wronged and asks Avram to take responsibility, invoking Hashem (God) to judge between them. Rashi explains that Sarai was justified in her complaint because Avram had not defended her honor when Hagar acted disrespectfully.
Q: Why did Sarai give Hagar to Avram?
A: Sarai gave Hagar to Avram because she was initially unable to conceive (Genesis 16:1-2). Following the custom of the time, a wife could give her maidservant to her husband to bear children on her behalf (as seen in ancient Near Eastern practices). The Ramban notes that Sarai acted with good intentions, hoping to fulfill the divine promise of offspring to Avram.
Q: What lesson can we learn from Sarai's words in Genesis 16:5?
A: From Sarai's words, we learn the importance of communication and accountability in relationships. Sarai openly expressed her pain to Avram rather than silently enduring Hagar’s disrespect. The Midrash highlights that righteous individuals like Sarai seek justice through proper channels, turning to Hashem as the ultimate judge.
Q: How does this verse relate to Jewish marriage values?
A: This verse underscores the Torah’s emphasis on mutual respect and responsibility in marriage. Even though Sarai initially consented to Hagar’s union with Avram, she expected Avram to uphold her dignity. The Talmud (Yevamot 65b) teaches that harmony between spouses is essential, and neglecting a spouse’s emotional needs—as Avram temporarily did—can lead to strife.
Q: Why did Sarai say 'the Lord judge between me and thee'?
A: Sarai invoked Hashem’s judgment because she felt Avram had not intervened when Hagar disrespected her. By saying this, she appealed to divine justice rather than escalating conflict. Rashi explains that Sarai’s words were not a curse but a plea for Hashem to clarify who was in the right—showing her trust in divine fairness.