Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Why did Abraham send his servant to find a wife for Isaac from his homeland?
A: Abraham wanted Isaac to marry someone from his own family and homeland to ensure she shared the same values and faith in Hashem. As Rashi explains, Abraham was concerned that Isaac might marry a Canaanite woman who would lead him astray from serving G-d. Therefore, he insisted on finding a wife from his own family in Aram-Naharaim (Mesopotamia).
Q: What can we learn from Abraham's instruction to find a wife for Isaac?
A: This teaches the importance of choosing a spouse who shares the same religious values. The Rambam (Hilchot De'ot 6:1) emphasizes that one should seek a partner who will help strengthen their commitment to Torah and mitzvot. Abraham's concern for Isaac's spiritual future sets an example for Jewish marriage values.
Q: Why did Abraham say 'my country and my kindred' instead of naming a specific place?
A: According to the Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 59:9), Abraham was hinting that the future wife should come from a place and family connected to holiness—his own lineage, which was devoted to Hashem. The term 'my kindred' (מוֹלַדְתִּי) refers to his extended family, who, despite living among idolaters, still retained some of the values Abraham instilled before he left.
Q: Why didn't Isaac go himself to find a wife?
A: The Talmud (Yevamot 61b) explains that Isaac did not leave the Land of Israel because he was considered an 'olah temimah' (a pure offering), symbolizing his complete dedication to Hashem. Just as an offering cannot leave the Temple, Isaac did not leave the holy land. Therefore, Abraham sent his trusted servant Eliezer instead.
Q: How does this verse relate to Jewish marriage customs today?
A: Just as Abraham sought a righteous spouse for Isaac from a fitting family, Jewish tradition emphasizes finding a partner who upholds Torah values. The Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer 1:1) states that one should prioritize a spouse’s good character and commitment to mitzvot. Abraham’s example remains a guiding principle in Jewish matchmaking (shidduchim).
Context of the Verse
This verse (Bereshit 24:4) is part of the narrative where Avraham instructs his servant Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak from Avraham's homeland and family, rather than from the Canaanites among whom they lived. This directive is critical in ensuring the continuity of Avraham's spiritual legacy through Yitzchak's lineage.
Rashi's Commentary
Rashi explains that Avraham emphasized "my country and my kindred" because he wanted a wife for Yitzchak who shared his family's values and monotheistic beliefs. Avraham did not want Yitzchak to marry a Canaanite woman, as their moral and spiritual standards were incompatible with his mission. Rashi also notes that Avraham referred to Charan as "my country" because it was his birthplace, despite having left it many years earlier.
Rambam's Perspective
Rambam (Hilchos Issurei Biah 13:4) derives from this verse the importance of ensuring that one's spouse shares the same spiritual and ethical values. Avraham's insistence on finding a wife from his family underscores the principle of maintaining purity of faith and avoiding assimilation with idolatrous cultures.
Midrashic Insights
Halachic Implications
The verse is often cited in halachic discussions about marriage and the importance of choosing a spouse who aligns with Torah values. The emphasis on "my kindred" (מוֹלַדְתִּי) teaches that shared heritage and commitment to mitzvos are essential in building a Jewish home.
Symbolism and Deeper Meaning
Avraham's directive symbolizes the broader Jewish mission to remain distinct in values and practices, even while living among other nations. By seeking a wife from his homeland, Avraham ensured that Yitzchak's descendants would uphold the covenant and transmit Torah to future generations.