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Genesis 29:14 - Family bonds test loyalty?

Genesis 29:14 - בראשית 29:14

Hebrew Text

וַיֹּאמֶר לוֹ לָבָן אַךְ עַצְמִי וּבְשָׂרִי אָתָּה וַיֵּשֶׁב עִמּוֹ חֹדֶשׁ יָמִים׃

English Translation

And Lavan said to him, Surely thou art my bone and my flesh. And he stayed with him a month.

Transliteration

Vayomer lo Lavan ach atzmi uvsari atah vayeshev imo chodesh yamim.

Hebrew Leining Text

וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ לָבָ֔ן אַ֛ךְ עַצְמִ֥י וּבְשָׂרִ֖י אָ֑תָּה וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב עִמּ֖וֹ חֹ֥דֶשׁ יָמִֽים׃
וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ לָבָ֔ן אַ֛ךְ עַצְמִ֥י וּבְשָׂרִ֖י אָ֑תָּה וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב עִמּ֖וֹ חֹ֥דֶשׁ יָמִֽים׃

🎵 Listen to leining

Parasha Commentary

Context in Parashat Vayetzei

The verse (Bereishit 29:14) appears when Yaakov arrives at Lavan's home after fleeing from Eisav. Lavan, recognizing Yaakov as his nephew, acknowledges their familial bond by declaring, "Surely thou art my bone and my flesh." This moment marks the beginning of Yaakov's prolonged stay with Lavan, which ultimately spans twenty years.

Lavan's Declaration: "עַצְמִי וּבְשָׂרִי אָתָּה"

Rashi explains that Lavan's statement emphasizes their close kinship—Yaakov was not merely a distant relative but a direct descendant of Lavan's sister, Rivka. The phrasing "my bone and my flesh" echoes earlier biblical language (e.g., Adam referring to Chava in Bereishit 2:23), underscoring a deep familial connection.

  • Ramban (Nachmanides): Suggests Lavan's words may carry a dual meaning—while outwardly welcoming, they hint at his later exploitation of Yaakov. Lavan viewed Yaakov as "his own," justifying his eventual manipulation (e.g., switching Leah for Rachel).
  • Sforno: Notes that Lavan's hospitality lasted only a month ("chodesh yamim") before he began treating Yaakov as a stranger, demanding labor in exchange for Rachel's hand.

The Month-Long Stay: "וַיֵּשֶׁב עִמּוֹ חֹדֶשׁ יָמִים"

The Talmud (Megillah 13b) interprets "chodesh yamim" as a full 30-day period, during which Lavan hosted Yaakov as family. However, Midrash Tanchuma (Vayetzei 12) implies this was a test: Lavan observed Yaakov's character before deciding how to engage him.

  • Kli Yakar: Highlights the contrast between Avraham's servant (Eliezer), who refused to eat before stating his mission (Bereishit 24:33), and Yaakov, who waited a month. This delay allowed Lavan to craft his deceptive schemes.

Ethical Lessons

Orthodox commentators derive lessons about human nature and divine providence:

  • Lavan's Duality: His initial warmth masks ulterior motives, teaching vigilance in interpersonal dealings (based on Mesillat Yesharim's discussions of deception).
  • Yaakov's Patience: Despite Lavan's later treachery, Yaakov's trust in Hashem's plan (fulfilling the covenant) remains steadfast, as seen in his eventual prosperity (Bereishit 30:43).

📚 Talmud Citations

This verse is not quoted in the Talmud.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What does 'Surely thou art my bone and my flesh' mean in Genesis 29:14?
A: When Lavan says to Yaakov (Jacob) 'Surely thou art my bone and my flesh,' he is acknowledging their family relationship. According to Rashi, this phrase emphasizes that Yaakov is Lavan's close relative—his sister Rivka's (Rebecca's) son. It shows Lavan's initial warmth and recognition of their shared ancestry.
Q: Why did Yaakov stay with Lavan for a month in Genesis 29:14?
A: Yaakov stayed with Lavan for a month (חֹדֶשׁ יָמִים) as a guest before beginning his work for Rachel and Leah. The Midrash explains that this time was a period of mutual hospitality, where Yaakov observed Lavan's household and Lavan tested Yaakov's character before formalizing their work agreement (see Rashi on Genesis 29:14).
Q: What lesson can we learn from Lavan calling Yaakov 'my bone and my flesh'?
A: This phrase teaches the importance of recognizing family bonds, even when relationships may later become strained (as seen later between Yaakov and Lavan). The Talmud (Sanhedrin 58a) notes that family ties create obligations of kindness and fairness, though Lavan ultimately failed to uphold these values fully.
Q: How does the phrase 'my bone and my flesh' relate to Jewish family values?
A: The Torah emphasizes family unity through terms like 'bone and my flesh.' Rambam (Hilchos Mechirah 14:13) derives from such verses that family members should prioritize supporting one another. This idea is foundational in Jewish law, which places special responsibilities on relatives to help each other materially and spiritually.
Q: Why does the Torah mention that Yaakov stayed a 'month of days'?
A: The unusual phrasing 'a month of days' (חֹדֶשׁ יָמִים) teaches that this was a full, complete month (Rashi). The Midrash (Bereishis Rabbah 70:12) suggests it also hints that Yaakov used this time wisely—studying Torah and preparing spiritually for the challenges ahead with Lavan's family.