Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What does Genesis 31:28 mean when it says 'thou hast now done foolishly'?
A: In Genesis 31:28, Lavan is accusing Yaakov (Jacob) of leaving secretly without allowing him to say goodbye to his daughters (Yaakov's wives) and grandchildren. According to Rashi, Lavan is claiming that Yaakov acted foolishly by not trusting him, as Lavan insists he would have sent them off properly with celebration. The verse highlights Lavan's perspective, though the Torah later shows that Yaakov had good reason to leave discreetly due to Lavan's untrustworthiness.
Q: Why did Yaakov leave Lavan's house secretly?
A: Yaakov left Lavan's house secretly because he feared Lavan would prevent him from leaving or take back his daughters (Rachel and Leah) and grandchildren. The Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 74:5) explains that Lavan was known for his deceitfulness, and Yaakov acted wisely by departing without notice after Hashem instructed him to return to his homeland (Genesis 31:3).
Q: What lesson can we learn from Genesis 31:28 about family relationships?
A: This verse teaches the importance of proper farewells and maintaining family bonds, even in difficult circumstances. Though Yaakov had valid reasons for leaving secretly, Lavan's complaint highlights that abrupt separations can cause pain. The Rambam (Hilchos De'os 6:3) emphasizes the value of peaceful departures and communication, though sometimes discretion is necessary for protection.
Q: How does Orthodox Judaism interpret Lavan's words in this verse?
A: Traditional Jewish commentators like Rashi and Ibn Ezra view Lavan's words as hypocritical. While he claims to care about his family, his past actions (such as tricking Yaakov into marrying Leah first) prove his insincerity. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 105a) compares Lavan to Bilaam, showing that his outwardly kind words often concealed selfish intentions.
Q: Does this verse suggest Yaakov acted wrongly by leaving without saying goodbye?
A: No, Jewish tradition holds that Yaakov acted correctly. The Or HaChaim (Genesis 31:20) explains that Yaakov followed divine instruction and avoided confrontation with Lavan, who might have delayed or obstructed his departure. While Lavan accuses Yaakov of foolishness, the Torah later justifies Yaakov's caution (Genesis 31:42), showing that his actions were wise and necessary.
Context of the Verse
This verse (Genesis 31:28) is part of the narrative where Lavan (Laban) confronts Yaakov (Jacob) after Yaakov secretly departed with his family and possessions. Lavan expresses frustration that he was not given the opportunity to bid farewell properly to his daughters (Rachel and Leah) and grandchildren.
Rashi's Explanation
Rashi comments on the phrase "וְלֹא נְטַשְׁתַּנִי לְנַשֵּׁק לְבָנַי וְלִבְנֹתָי" ("And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters?"), explaining that Lavan is highlighting the breach of familial etiquette. According to Rashi, Lavan is accusing Yaakov of acting improperly by not allowing him the customary farewell kisses, which were a sign of affection and respect in their culture.
Ibn Ezra's Insight
Ibn Ezra focuses on the word "הִסְכַּלְתָּ" ("thou hast now done foolishly"), noting that Lavan is not merely expressing sadness but accusing Yaakov of acting unwisely. Ibn Ezra suggests that Lavan viewed Yaakov's secret departure as a foolish act that could have been avoided with proper communication.
Midrashic Interpretation
The Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 74:9) delves deeper into Lavan's motives, suggesting that his desire to kiss his grandchildren was not purely out of love. The Midrash implies that Lavan may have had ulterior motives, such as attempting to harm or curse them, as he was known for his deceitful nature (as seen earlier in his dealings with Yaakov). This aligns with the broader theme of Lavan's antagonism toward Yaakov.
Rambam's Perspective
While Rambam (Maimonides) does not comment directly on this verse, his principles about interpersonal relationships in Hilchot De'ot can be applied. Rambam emphasizes the importance of honest communication and avoiding suspicion. Yaakov's decision to leave secretly, while justified due to Lavan's untrustworthiness, still led to unnecessary conflict, illustrating the complexities of dealing with deceitful individuals.
Key Lessons