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Genesis 31:31 - Fear of losing family

Genesis 31:31 - בראשית 31:31

Hebrew Text

וַיַּעַן יַעֲקֹב וַיֹּאמֶר לְלָבָן כִּי יָרֵאתִי כִּי אָמַרְתִּי פֶּן־תִּגְזֹל אֶת־בְּנוֹתֶיךָ מֵעִמִּי׃

English Translation

And Ya῾aqov answered and said to Lavan, Because I was afraid: for I said, Perhaps thou wouldst take by force thy daughters from me.

Transliteration

Va'ya'an Ya'akov va'yomer l'Lavan ki yareti ki amarti pen-tigzol et-b'notecha me'imi.

Hebrew Leining Text

וַיַּ֥עַן יַעֲקֹ֖ב וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לְלָבָ֑ן כִּ֣י יָרֵ֔אתִי כִּ֣י אָמַ֔רְתִּי פֶּן־תִּגְזֹ֥ל אֶת־בְּנוֹתֶ֖יךָ מֵעִמִּֽי׃
וַיַּ֥עַן יַעֲקֹ֖ב וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לְלָבָ֑ן כִּ֣י יָרֵ֔אתִי כִּ֣י אָמַ֔רְתִּי פֶּן־תִּגְזֹ֥ל אֶת־בְּנוֹתֶ֖יךָ מֵעִמִּֽי׃

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Parasha Commentary

Context of the Verse

This verse (Bereshit 31:31) is part of Yaakov's response to Lavan after Lavan pursued him upon his departure from Charan. Yaakov explains why he left secretly without informing Lavan, citing fear as his primary motivation.

Yaakov's Fear Explained

Rashi explains that Yaakov feared Lavan would prevent him from taking his wives—Lavan's daughters—by force. The term "תִּגְזֹל" (take by force) implies that Lavan might have used physical coercion to separate Yaakov from Rachel and Leah. The Midrash (Bereshit Rabbah 74:9) elaborates that Lavan was known for his deceitful nature, as seen earlier in his dealings with Yaakov, and Yaakov had legitimate concerns about further manipulation.

Lavan's Character and Yaakov's Caution

Ramban (Nachmanides) notes that Yaakov's fear was justified based on Lavan's past behavior. Lavan had already changed Yaakov's wages multiple times (Bereshit 31:7) and might have resorted to even more extreme measures to retain control over his daughters, seeing them as part of his household's labor force. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 105a) compares Lavan to Bilaam, emphasizing his cunning and potential for harm.

Theological Implications of Yaakov's Statement

The Sforno highlights that Yaakov's admission of fear demonstrates his humility and recognition of human vulnerability, despite having divine protection (as seen in Bereshit 31:42). This aligns with the broader Jewish principle that one must take natural precautions ("hishtadlut") even when trusting in Hashem.

Lessons in Family and Trust

  • Protection of Family: Yaakov prioritizes safeguarding his wives and children, reflecting the Torah's emphasis on familial responsibility.
  • Distrust of the Deceitful: The verse teaches caution when dealing with individuals who have proven untrustworthy, as Lavan had.
  • Balance of Faith and Action: Yaakov's fear did not negate his trust in Hashem but rather complemented it through prudent action.

📚 Talmud Citations

This verse is not quoted in the Talmud.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Why was Yaakov afraid of Lavan taking his daughters back?
A: Yaakov feared that Lavan would forcibly take back his daughters (Rachel and Leah) because Lavan had a history of deceit (as seen earlier when he switched Leah for Rachel). Rashi explains that Yaakov suspected Lavan might use force, as he was known for his cunning behavior (Genesis 31:7).
Q: What does this verse teach us about Yaakov's relationship with Lavan?
A: This verse highlights the lack of trust between Yaakov and Lavan. Despite being family, their relationship was strained due to Lavan's dishonesty. The Talmud (Megillah 13b) notes that Lavan was even more deceitful than Pharaoh, showing why Yaakov had reason to fear him.
Q: How does this verse connect to the broader story of Yaakov leaving Lavan's house?
A: This verse is part of Yaakov's explanation for why he left secretly without telling Lavan. The Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 74:9) explains that Yaakov acted wisely to avoid further conflict, as Lavan might have prevented him from leaving with his wives and children.
Q: What lesson can we learn from Yaakov's caution in this situation?
A: Yaakov teaches the importance of foresight and protecting one's family from harm. The Rambam (Hilchos De'os 2:1) emphasizes wisdom in dealing with dishonest people, and Yaakov's actions reflect this principle by avoiding unnecessary confrontation with Lavan.
Q: Why did Yaakov refer to Rachel and Leah as 'your daughters' instead of 'my wives'?
A: Rashi explains that Yaakov spoke this way to remind Lavan that, as their father, he should have treated them with kindness and not driven Yaakov to flee secretly. By calling them 'your daughters,' Yaakov subtly rebuked Lavan for his harsh treatment (Genesis 31:31 with Rashi's commentary).