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Genesis 34:4 - Passion overrides wisdom?

Genesis 34:4 - בראשית 34:4

Hebrew Text

וַיֹּאמֶר שְׁכֶם אֶל־חֲמוֹר אָבִיו לֵאמֹר קַח־לִי אֶת־הַיַּלְדָּה הַזֹּאת לְאִשָּׁה׃

English Translation

And Shekhem spoke to his father Ḥamor, saying, Get me this child for a wife.

Transliteration

Va'yomer Shekhem el-Chamor aviv leimor kach-li et-ha'yalda hazot le'isha.

Hebrew Leining Text

וַיֹּ֣אמֶר שְׁכֶ֔ם אֶל־חֲמ֥וֹר אָבִ֖יו לֵאמֹ֑ר קַֽח־לִ֛י אֶת־הַיַּלְדָּ֥ה הַזֹּ֖את לְאִשָּֽׁה׃
וַיֹּ֣אמֶר שְׁכֶ֔ם אֶל־חֲמ֥וֹר אָבִ֖יו לֵאמֹ֑ר קַֽח־לִ֛י אֶת־הַיַּלְדָּ֥ה הַזֹּ֖את לְאִשָּֽׁה׃

🎵 Listen to leining

Parasha Commentary

Context in the Torah

The verse (Bereshit 34:4) appears in the narrative of Dinah, the daughter of Yaakov, who was taken by Shekhem, the son of Chamor the Chivite. Shekhem's request to his father reflects his desire to marry Dinah after violating her, which sets the stage for the subsequent events involving Shimon and Levi.

Rashi's Commentary

Rashi (Bereshit 34:4) notes that Shekhem refers to Dinah as "הַיַּלְדָּה הַזֹּאת" ("this child") rather than by her name, indicating a lack of respect. He explains that Shekhem saw her as an object of desire rather than as a person deserving dignity. Additionally, Rashi highlights that Shekhem spoke to his father "לֵאמֹר" ("saying"), implying that he demanded rather than requested, demonstrating his arrogance.

Midrashic Insights

The Midrash (Bereshit Rabbah 80:7) elaborates on Shekhem's character, portraying him as someone accustomed to taking what he wanted by force. His phrasing, "קַח־לִי אֶת־הַיַּלְדָּה הַזֹּאת" ("Get me this child"), suggests he treated Dinah as property rather than as a person with agency. The Midrash contrasts this with the respectful courtship described elsewhere in the Torah, such as Yitzchak and Rivkah's marriage.

Rambam's Ethical Perspective

Rambam (Hilchot Issurei Biah 12:10) discusses the severity of coercive relationships, emphasizing that Shekhem’s actions violated the Torah’s principles of moral conduct. His demand to his father reflects a corrupt societal attitude toward women, which the Torah condemns.

Legal and Moral Implications

  • Lack of Consent: Shekhem’s approach disregards Dinah’s will, highlighting the Torah’s emphasis on mutual consent in marriage (Kiddushin 2b).
  • Parental Role: Shekhem involves his father in securing Dinah, but the Torah expects parents to uphold morality, not facilitate wrongdoing (Sifrei Devarim 21:19).
  • Language of Ownership: The term "קַח־לִי" ("get for me") implies a transactional view of marriage, contrary to the sanctity of Jewish matrimony (Kiddushin 1:1).

📚 Talmud Citations

This verse is quoted in the Talmud.

📖 Sanhedrin 60b
The verse is referenced in a discussion about the laws regarding intermarriage with the Canaanites and the moral implications of Shekhem's actions.
📖 Avodah Zarah 36b
The verse is cited in a broader discussion about the prohibitions and consequences of intermarriage with non-Jewish nations, particularly in the context of the story of Dinah.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What does the verse 'And Shekhem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, Get me this child for a wife' mean?
A: This verse describes Shekhem, the son of Chamor, expressing his desire to marry Dinah, the daughter of Yaakov (Jacob). According to Rashi, this event highlights the improper and forceful nature of Shekhem's actions, as he had already taken Dinah against her will before making this request (Genesis 34:2). The Torah emphasizes the moral failing of Shekhem and his father's household.
Q: Why is this verse important in the Torah?
A: This verse is important because it sets the stage for the tragic events that follow, where Dinah's brothers take revenge for her violation. The Midrash (Bereshit Rabbah 80:7) explains that this incident teaches about the consequences of immoral behavior and the importance of protecting family honor. It also shows the contrast between the values of Yaakov's family and the surrounding nations.
Q: What can we learn from Shekhem's request to his father?
A: We learn that even though Shekhem claimed to want Dinah as a wife, his actions were not based on righteousness. The Rambam (Hilchos Issurei Biah 12:10) discusses the importance of proper marriage procedures and mutual consent, which were absent here. This teaches that true relationships must be built on respect and holiness, not selfish desire.
Q: How does this verse apply to relationships today?
A: This verse reminds us that relationships must be founded on Torah values—mutual respect, purity, and proper intentions. The Talmud (Kiddushin 41a) teaches that marriage should be approached with dignity and kedushah (holiness), unlike Shekhem's impulsive and wrongful behavior. It serves as a warning against relationships formed through coercion or improper means.